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fiances

April is turning out to be quite the month this year so far – my birthday is in two weeks (big 2-9!), I just became an Aunt last week (yayyy!), and I read plenty of these magazines on the flight to Las Vegas for work a few weeks ago:


Airplane reading #surprise #ringadingding #happenedonsaturday

I’m engaged, you guys!!!!

It’s been a short amount of time since Chris “popped the question”, but I’m now in the throes of planning our wedding for sometime next year – I’m so excited!  Of course the first question anyone asks when they find out when someone is engaged is, “when’s the date?”  And honestly, we have no flipping clue yet, haha.  Somehow between his wacky work schedule and my meetings and travel, we’ll need to nail a date/venue down soon.  I feel like that’s the biggest thing to figure out, and then it’s all the detail-stuff.  I’ve been reading the blog Broke Ass Bride religiously for wedding planning ideas, those gals totally get what we’re trying to achieve – not breaking the bank on one day (I’d say I’m more cheap-ass bride than broke-ass, but whatever).

Every night now, I fall down the “wedding planning” rabbit hole instead of doing anything constructive – my sewing is definitely suffering!!

Which brings me to the next big question I’ve been asked: am I going to make my dress? 

I really don’t know yet…there’s so much to figure out in the next year that I’m not sure if I can take on that additional layer of pressure/stress.  After getting dress ideas on Pinterest, and then subsequently becoming sticker-shocked, the idea of making my own dress is appealing – I know what I want, what works on my body, and can make something for a fraction of the cost that they charge in bridal stores, but with much higher-quality fabric (helloooo I’m not paying thousands of dollars for a polyester dress okthanks).  Even JCrew and BHLDN, which have beautiful wedding dresses, are a little over-priced in my opinion because of the materials used.  I also got the idea from my Mom to think outside the box and look at non-bridal places – I found some cute white gowns with designer labels (Vera Wang, anyone?) at Bloomingdales and Nordstrom for a tenth of what the typical wedding dress goes for.

Making my wedding dress is the only thing I envisioned about my wedding, I never was “that girl” that fantasized about her wedding day.  But I feel like because I sew and make the majority of my clothes, it’s expected that I make my dress (and I want to!).  My Mom made her dress when she married my Dad in the 70’s, so I’d like to continue on that custom.  At this point, I’m thinking about it, but not committing to the idea yet…however, I did order some swatches from Mood and patterns from Etsy this evening.  You know, research…

So much to figure out in not that much time!  But when it comes down to it, what I’m most excited about is starting a life together with him – that’s what really matters, no matter what I wear or where we are.

So – did you make your wedding dress?  Advice for anyone thinking about making their wedding dress?

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19 Comments

  1. April 21, 2015 / 2:17 pm

    Congratulations and happy planning. I have a daughter getting married this summer and I am not making a thing, which I am okay with. She bought her dress at David's Bridal and looked at one in the discontinued section but is was not the winner. If you are able to check that section out, there are some for $400.

  2. April 21, 2015 / 2:40 pm

    Congratulations! I was the same as you – I just couldn't bring myself to spend the crazy amount of money for just one day, so we did a lot of DIYs for our wedding. And I toyed with the idea of making my dress. In the end I found a really lovely discounted dress (like we are talking 1/3 the price of an average wedding dress) which I bought (and then I had an excuse to splash out on my shoes – hello Jimmy Choo!) and wore for the ceremony and meal. I then changed into a little dress for the party – which I DID make! So that might be an option for you if you are nervous about making your dress? You can have a nosey through my wedding blog posts if you like:http://www.seasaltandstitches.com/p/diy-wedding-archive.html

  3. April 21, 2015 / 3:18 pm

    Congratulations! So exciting!

    I did make my dress, but I shopped first before deciding I would. I always tell brides to buy if they can find styles they like on the rack and if they don't have really difficult fitting issues. I've only ever known one bride who didn't need alterations, so expect to pay for alterations. The biggest challenge is ordering the right size because most places will tell you to buy a size that is much bigger than you need. If you have the 6 months that is normally required to order and alter a dress from a boutique and you like what you've found, buy one just because it will be less stress and you can enjoying focusing on all the other things for the wedding. Besides, you will only wear it once so it's really not worth obsessing about.

    Make your veil (if you want a veil) – that is easy and will save you at least $300. =)

  4. April 21, 2015 / 3:27 pm

    Congrats! My husband and I eloped, but I did make outfits for the occasion (blogged here: http://www.lindsaywoodward.com/2014/10/wedding-outfits.html/ ). I'm also super cheap, and since neither my husband nor I really wanted to do the whole wedding thing, we decided to spend the money on a two week honeymoon in New Zealand instead! It was definitely the right choice for us, but you should do whatever feels right for you and your fiance. Just don't worry about what anyone else is expecting from you or your wedding – it should only be about the two of you!

  5. April 21, 2015 / 3:43 pm

    Congratulations!!! I wish I'd sewn my wedding dress, but I didn't know how to sew back then. My mom talked me into a big, puffy dress and I didn't feel like myself. I am excited to see how your personal style comes out in a wedding dress! So fun!

  6. April 21, 2015 / 3:45 pm

    Major congrats! 😀

    I made my own dress, but I went the simple route and just made a basic circle skirt sundress and wore some floofy skirts underneath and a super wide ribbon around my waist. I initially planned to do something more complex, but I got stressed and realized it was way more "me" to go with my final dress. (I posted about it here, if you're curious: http://liveaboardtakesthesuburbs.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-great-reveal-sewing-my-own-wedding.html)

    Weddings can for sure get crazy expensive, so I think the cheap bride choice is a super valid one. My goal was to throw as little away as possible, so almost everything we used in the wedding has been recycled into other things (for instance, we made benches from a downed tree cut into sections and 2x6s, and they were broken down after into wood for our woodstove and more garden boxes for the yard). We did a simple, cheap wedding at my husband's parents' field. I've been to so many weddings the past couple years that I was ready for something relaxing and simple and everyone loved it because they love us. Whatever you do, everyone will enjoy. 🙂

  7. April 21, 2015 / 3:49 pm

    Congratulations!

    I did make my dress because, like you, that was one of the only two things I'd ever envisioned about my wedding day. (The other was my main flower pick.) I also knew that I would have a hard time finding anything in stores that would suit my taste, because I didn't want strapless and I didn't want a train, and that eliminates about 99% of the wedding dresses out there. So I honestly didn't even bother shopping in stores–I just threw together a Pinterest board of silhouettes and details I liked, mashed together a few patterns, and went for it. My advice, if you choose to sew it, would be to make sure you allow yourself plenty of time. My dress took me about 6 months from start to finish, because I purposely chose to take my time and play with couture techniques that I don't often have an excuse to use, but at least half of that time was working on fitting the muslin/testing out some design tweaks I was making on the bodice pattern. Also, don't be afraid to think outside the box on where to source your fabrics. I got my underlining and lining fabrics from Dharma Trading Company, because they have great prices on undyed silks per yard and matching whites wasn't quite as crucial as the outside of my dress. As a result, I was able to put together a completely silk dress for less than the price of most polyester ones from the bridal shops!

  8. April 21, 2015 / 3:56 pm

    Congrats!

    I didn't make my dress and I think it was one of the best decisions I made. There was a LOT going on in our life right before the wedding and sewing my dress would have put the stress level over the top. I did begrudge the money I spent on the dress (although I bought it at a sample sale so it was way less expensive than it could have been) until the week before the wedding when I realized that my sanity was worth the money I spent on the dress!

    I did make a ton of other things for our wedding (ties for groomsmen and fathers, bridesmaid dresses, knit shawls for mothers, fabric bouquet, etc.) so I got to be frugal and feel like I was crafting our wedding in many other ways.

    (I have blog posts about all of them if you're interested. http://seamstresserin.com/tag/wedding)

  9. April 21, 2015 / 4:23 pm

    Huge congrats! That's super exciting. 🙂
    I've heard of people making their dresses but I think only 50% of them actually wear them in the end. it's so much pressure and if you're a perfectionist like every woman who's ever gotten married is, then you'll never be satisfied with the dress you make. just my two cents! either way, I'm sure you'll be stunning!

  10. April 21, 2015 / 4:28 pm

    Congratulations! My wedding dress was made by a family friend who, incidentally, didn't do a very good job. My mom (who was plenty experienced, and should have just done it herself!) ended up taking most of the dress apart and adjusting it the last few days before the wedding, and I hand sewed lace onto the bodice. So… not the greatest experience! I did make a wedding dress for my sister a few years ago, and while it was a huge accomplishment, I wanted to burn it by the time I was done! It's such a personal decision as to what you do. Definitely go try on some shop dresses, and if you do make your own, leave yourself plenty of time. There are so many little steps that you can chip away at over time. And leave yourself nice wide SA's for fine tuning! Best wishes, whatever you decide!

  11. April 21, 2015 / 4:55 pm

    Congratulations!! Yes, I made my wedding dress and it was so much fun! I saved a bunch of money and my dress was beautiful, comfortable and almost entirely made of silk. I kind of hated planning the wedding (deadlines and organization and family drama) but making the dress was so sweet and I will remember the experience forever. I blogged about making the dress if you are interested:

    http://www.restlessgrace.blogspot.com/2013/08/10-things-to-know-about-making-my-own.html

    and

    http://www.restlessgrace.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-epic-post-about-how-i-made-my.html

  12. April 21, 2015 / 5:58 pm

    Congratulations!!! I have no advice on making your own dress – I don't think I could've handled the pressure, so I bought mine RTW, but I did make almost my entire (and my husband's) honeymoon wardrobe. Sewing is so therapeutic while wedding planning, and I think it's the main thing that kept me from really stressing out… My main advice would be to check out the website A Practical Wedding (http://apracticalwedding.com/) – I found it grounded, helpful and better than looking at those wedding websites that focus on high end/fancy/trendy weddings. I still read it too (they do a lot of posts on engagement/weddings/marriage/family).

    Good luck and I can't wait to see your dress if you do end up making it!

  13. April 21, 2015 / 6:09 pm

    Congratulations!! 🙂 I'm not married and therefore haven't sewn my wedding dress, so I don't have any brilliant advice for you, but I love the idea of looking at non-wedding dresses to save money (and drama). I don't really "get" why so many women spend so much money on a dress they're only going to wear for one day, so I guess I'm totally the wrong person to ask!

  14. April 21, 2015 / 7:33 pm

    Congratulations! I did not sew my wedding dress (still quite the beginner), but I understand your frustrations about the bridal dress market. 4k for a polyester gown that requires another $500 in alterations? No THANK YOU! We were married last year and I had a NYC-based designer make my dress (http://www.tatyanamerenyuk.com/–she's also on Etsy). The gown was entirely made of silk and she applied a beautiful vintage lace trim that she painstakingly cut and sewed by hand. I thought the price was quite fair for the workmanship and it was fun to go to her studio in Brooklyn for fittings. Best of luck with whatever you decide on the dress!

  15. April 21, 2015 / 7:38 pm

    P.S. Calypso St Barth has a new wedding dress line similar to BHLDN and J. Crew. You might want to check them out!

  16. April 23, 2015 / 4:31 pm

    I recognize Fenway Park in your photo!! Congratulations on your engagement 🙂

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